I love my job, but sometimes it does take me away from home, which means less time with my son.
In the last 7 days, I have only been home 3 nights to say good night to my son, and I was away for the entire weekend, so no good mornings either.
On Monday and Tuesday, I attended a training conference; and Friday, Saturday and Sunday I went to an ‘Unconference’ – both were absolutely fantastic, I learned so much that I cannot wait to implement in my business, and life in general. I know that the lessons will translate to better results for my clients, and in time will ensure I get more time at home too . . . but for those 4 nights, I felt terrible to be away.
Mummy guilt is real – that constant feeling that you need to ‘do it all’ – be a great employee and a great parent. But it just isn’t possible ALL THE TIME!
Multitasking is possible for a lot of things we do; but you cannot be in two places at once. . . .
With technology I was able to ‘see’ my husband and son through video calls. But when I finished the call, it was straight back into ‘work’ mode at my events. They got on with their days, and when I returned home I was exhausted, but it was so nice to see them both.
The level of guilt I have heard in the past 7 days has been crazy! With some parents still having tears in their eyes when they share their stories (and bringing tears to mine). We spoke openly about work/life balance and ‘making it work’, and I will be sharing some of these stories in the coming weeks via my blog. We had a great session discussing ‘hints and tips’ and some examples of #parentinghacks that could benefit us all.
The emotion was so raw, still so fresh, even though for some, the stories they were sharing were over 18 years old, with another mum leaving the conference early to go home after a bad dream about her kids. Their stories were inspirational from a professional point of view, but so sad from the parenting side. Sleepless nights, missed events, squeezing the same work into less hours, financial strain, relationship issues, changed priorities, not remembering the last time you truly did something for yourself . . . .
We need to stop with the judgement, pressure and guilt we put on working parents; the pressure to be the ‘same’ as you were before children. You cannot be the same as you were before, you now have a tiny human who is completely reliant on you to survive – of course your time is going to be used differently now, you have more to do!
As parents you learn to prioritize what is important and you learn disappointment. You cannot attend every birthday celebration, every football game or even head to the cinema at the last minute. You have to ‘plan’ a trip to the supermarket and are constantly carrying a bag of ‘essentials’ everywhere. You don’t wear your ‘nice’ clothes in fear of them getting damaged, your car is never clean, and there is always another load of washing to do . . . .
The guilt comes from thinking we can do it all; but I propose we except we can’t, and change the dialogue to it isn’t perfect, but I am ‘making it work’.
I am a passionate recruitment leader, based in Brisbane. I love to help clients find the right person for their organisation, and help candidates find the ‘best fit’ for them.
I am mum to a threenager; and I understand the battle to find work/life balance. I call a spade a spade, and I’m a huge Rugby League fan.
I believe in Results Orientated Working Environments, equal pay for equal work, and the ‘work hard, play hard’ mentality.